I thank God for Mr. L who helped me see love and bond between father and sons.
Mr. L suffers from motor neuron disease and it is degenerative in nature. Right now, he is only able to move his head from left to right, talk normally, eat normally and is cognitively intact. That's all he has. This disease is degenerative in nature and soon he will lose all that he is able to do now.
Although he has no caregiver at home, he is willing to be at home and be taken care of his sons who can only give him irregular meals, bath his at irregular times. His elder son is mentally slow and still needs his supervision. His younger son is still too young and needs to be schooling and unable to care for Mr. L. Next year, his younger son will be going to NS. How will Mr. L care for himself than? However dear Mr. L would rather be at home with his sons suffering inconveniences than to be send to nursing home.
His sons misses him too. They want him home to care for him. I am not too sure about their level of commitment, but for someone who is dying, one day at home to be with his children is far too precious.
He sleeps with his younger son in the same bed. His son brings him to the toilet every night and turn his body around 3 hourly to prevent bedsores. In the morning, dear Mr. L wakes his son up to go to school. That's how he supervises and care for his sons.
Being in the hospital is too scary. Seeing other patients to be inserted with NG tube is too painful to bear and too scary a thought to entertain. Soon, he may face this reality. He has make his wishes. He does not want to be on NG tube and would rather die than to be sustain in this manner.
For me, I listen to Mr. L and facilitated his thought processing. Mayb having someone to listen to is the only other thing he can do now, since he can hardly move himself anymore.
Mr. L reminds me that if my world is not about myself, I become more fully human, more fully alive. Even though he has all the reasons to complain about God and the world, but he does not. He thinks for his sons.
Dear God, is it still possible for Mr. L to be healed? Still possible for him to walk again? Pray that Mr. L will exercise whatever faith that he has in your healing.
And the first shall be the last and the last shall be first- Matt 19:30
