This story is about Ev.
She has a son who has autism, 4 yrs old. She has another 2 year old daughter, whom I suspect to be hyper active. Her husband is not bringing home any income as he is investing his time in his 3-month study course which promise him a more stable income. For the sake of her family, Ev is coping alone.
In the night, when her head hits the pillow, her world is spinning and her body trembles from the stress accumulated throughout the day.
Autism alters the family in many ways...
1. Her social circle. Ev is rather isolated and dare not go out of the house because she is often misunderstood. Scolding from the neighbors and passer-bys are common as her son express himself by hitting other children. They do not understand that autism children look normal but their world is different.
2. Her living condition. Her house is empty except for the old dining table, old 2 seater sofa and a old TV set, messy bed and a simple children's bed where the 2 kids share. All other things post a danger to the children. It needs to be empty.
3. The family church going arrangement. Her husband goes to church first, then he comes home to manage the children, then she goes to church.
That is her only respite and on Tues night she attends a support group for mothers whose children have autism.
I visited her and help her manage her children. She take one and I take another.
Before I left, I wonder how she is going to cope with the rest of the day. I wonder what she do in a day. It can drive anyone crazy if not for the grace of God.
God is strengthening her daily. How deep is the mother's love for her children. And how much deeper the Father's love for us.. though we are so unlovely. In deep appreciation of His love for me.. So unworthy but forgiven.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
J
I wanna share about J today. She is 17 years old this yr.. Her mother is 56, and her father is 68. Her mother has schizoprenia and her father has dementia.
She stays in 3room flat. B4 the Residents' Committee knows about her family, her house was super cluttered with junks and very disorganized. The floor in the house is bare concrete. They all sleep on mattresses in the living hall, with a stench to it. There is no wardrobe or cabinet thaty can keep all her stuff. All of them filled with old things that is forgotten but left undisturbed. Her mum refuses to dispose of them.
But to my delight, she is alright. She studies in a neighborhood Sec Sch in the Express Stream. She scores well enuff to get into Poly. How did she manage all these years?
She shares... Her father prays with her nightly when she was a little girl. Until he has dementia. The elderly man attends a chinese church while she attends church occassionally. She hardly goes to church nowadays.
God's grace is with her. He protected her from the negative peer influence in the neighborhood when she wandered ard because her father is working and her mother is unable to care for her. He gave her grace to treat her mother's verbal abuse as a joke when she was only a little girl. When she is old enough to understand, God gave her the discernment to reject the verbal abuse as part of her schizoprenic symptons. She desires to know the word of God, but she hardly attends church now. Her cell members goes to expensive places to eat after church and she is unable to afford them, so she refrains from joining them.
When I see my clients, I see God's grace and mercy in each lives.. I am in a privileged position to be able to listen to their stories. Because as a result my life is enriched. People say my job is tough, but I dont think so. My job is there to listen and affirm. Many merely needs to have their stories heard.
She stays in 3room flat. B4 the Residents' Committee knows about her family, her house was super cluttered with junks and very disorganized. The floor in the house is bare concrete. They all sleep on mattresses in the living hall, with a stench to it. There is no wardrobe or cabinet thaty can keep all her stuff. All of them filled with old things that is forgotten but left undisturbed. Her mum refuses to dispose of them.
But to my delight, she is alright. She studies in a neighborhood Sec Sch in the Express Stream. She scores well enuff to get into Poly. How did she manage all these years?
She shares... Her father prays with her nightly when she was a little girl. Until he has dementia. The elderly man attends a chinese church while she attends church occassionally. She hardly goes to church nowadays.
God's grace is with her. He protected her from the negative peer influence in the neighborhood when she wandered ard because her father is working and her mother is unable to care for her. He gave her grace to treat her mother's verbal abuse as a joke when she was only a little girl. When she is old enough to understand, God gave her the discernment to reject the verbal abuse as part of her schizoprenic symptons. She desires to know the word of God, but she hardly attends church now. Her cell members goes to expensive places to eat after church and she is unable to afford them, so she refrains from joining them.
When I see my clients, I see God's grace and mercy in each lives.. I am in a privileged position to be able to listen to their stories. Because as a result my life is enriched. People say my job is tough, but I dont think so. My job is there to listen and affirm. Many merely needs to have their stories heard.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Lesson of the day
Oh God, I am so tired.. Many more phonecalls to make to follow-up with all the referral from schools...
Saw a family just now with 4 families staying in one household. The owner of the house is reduced to staying in one room. Her brother-in-law family has to sleep in the living room with walls made of cardboards. I think they have about 16 people staying together.. only 4 ppl working in the family and the highest income is only $2000. All the other 3 families are staying with her because they have no flat of their own, and currently waiting for their rental flat.
Actually I feel quite frustrated with her attitude. She is a real fine lady, just that she has this happy-go-luck attitude tt is not helping her and her children. Her 2 year old girl is really FAT but then she feeds her 2 tins of milk every month! I think tt's too much la.. Lucas dont drink so much milk when he was 2 years old..
Lesson of the day: Plan how many children I want to have.. If you cant afford to have so many children, get an extra job to feed them. Mother's love and attention is not everything.. They also need food and books.
Saw a family just now with 4 families staying in one household. The owner of the house is reduced to staying in one room. Her brother-in-law family has to sleep in the living room with walls made of cardboards. I think they have about 16 people staying together.. only 4 ppl working in the family and the highest income is only $2000. All the other 3 families are staying with her because they have no flat of their own, and currently waiting for their rental flat.
Actually I feel quite frustrated with her attitude. She is a real fine lady, just that she has this happy-go-luck attitude tt is not helping her and her children. Her 2 year old girl is really FAT but then she feeds her 2 tins of milk every month! I think tt's too much la.. Lucas dont drink so much milk when he was 2 years old..
Lesson of the day: Plan how many children I want to have.. If you cant afford to have so many children, get an extra job to feed them. Mother's love and attention is not everything.. They also need food and books.
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