I had a dream. I was carrying a big bag of burden and dragging it along my way. It was big and heavy but it seems mine to carry. No one offered a helping hand and I didnt expect any. I woke up sad cos I wonder what that bag contains?
I am very sorry for the pain and hurt I have caused. How are you getting along? I will never know, but sometimes I wish I knew. There is total silence between us now. I hope to be friends but that would be selfish of me. Total silence is better for you I know. N silence it may forever be.
How do I reconcile this within me? Thank God for the memories and friendship we once shared. Look forward to the future because God has in store a future for u and me, a future to prosper and not to harm.
I pray for God's richest blessings to be upon you..
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Journalling my past 2 weeks
Have not written anything here for a long time. Been too busy? Yes. And I also feel that there are many comlicated thoughts that I dont know how to write it down.
Met a few people recently, and learn something from them. Dage ask me to meet people more often so that I can learn more things from people. I thot that was just being kaypo, but I think he has is point. As we know what is happening in people's lives, we can learn from them as well.
Tt's what SH tells me as well. He often say, he will nt learn this from this person, or he will learn that from the other person. Its really learning from life as it life comes along. As he learns, I learn from him as well. =) Thank God.
Gg for TNT retreat soon, I am looking forward to the break. Was not looking forward to it initially, but its different now. Appreciate all the hardwork the Elijah puts in in coordinating all the details. You know people can be quite fussy about details but he got them all settled! Well done! Look forward to catching up with Marge, Dor, Choo and KY. Been too occupied with my work. Maybe I am learning some work-life balance now.
N yes I have nt been spending enuff time with Lucas. N now he does not even wanna share his muffin with me. hmmm... Its challenging..
Ok wat's my schedule like? Mon- Meet-a-friend Day, Tues- NavTeens Day, Wed- SH Day, Thurs- Night Shift, Fri- Bible Study, Sat-Ministry cum friends/family, Sun- Church/Ministry/ Family/Friends.
Have not go for Extended Time With God for a long time already.. I miss the greens, the nature, the time spent with God unrushed. Retreat! I can do it during retreat!
Office have been noiser without SH, i think. Angie, Wdy, Abby are cheerful ppl and I sit between them so I will catch the conversation and join in at times =) Bt I wonder if we are colleagues or friends? Sometimes after engaging in those small talks, I wonder what I achieve? Maybe breaking the ice a little between us? But I don really like to engage in small talks but prefer to keep to myself. Mayb I have been too task-focussed and neglect on the relational aspect. Do I want to have a good relationship with my colleagues, hmmm, I must say its not my priority. The truth is not everyone can click with everyone at everywhere.
Something I discover abt myself is that my love language is Service. I think it used to be words of affirmation but then I realised I am nt so good at that la.. Below is what I did for SH. 15 hand-made cards. He was shopping ard for cards for some of the people he want to bid farewell to before he leaves the centre. He could nt find anything suitable so we decided that we will make them! =) He was so delighted with them =) Tt's why he always say 2 are better than 1!
Met a few people recently, and learn something from them. Dage ask me to meet people more often so that I can learn more things from people. I thot that was just being kaypo, but I think he has is point. As we know what is happening in people's lives, we can learn from them as well.
Tt's what SH tells me as well. He often say, he will nt learn this from this person, or he will learn that from the other person. Its really learning from life as it life comes along. As he learns, I learn from him as well. =) Thank God.
Gg for TNT retreat soon, I am looking forward to the break. Was not looking forward to it initially, but its different now. Appreciate all the hardwork the Elijah puts in in coordinating all the details. You know people can be quite fussy about details but he got them all settled! Well done! Look forward to catching up with Marge, Dor, Choo and KY. Been too occupied with my work. Maybe I am learning some work-life balance now.
N yes I have nt been spending enuff time with Lucas. N now he does not even wanna share his muffin with me. hmmm... Its challenging..
Ok wat's my schedule like? Mon- Meet-a-friend Day, Tues- NavTeens Day, Wed- SH Day, Thurs- Night Shift, Fri- Bible Study, Sat-Ministry cum friends/family, Sun- Church/Ministry/ Family/Friends.
Have not go for Extended Time With God for a long time already.. I miss the greens, the nature, the time spent with God unrushed. Retreat! I can do it during retreat!
Office have been noiser without SH, i think. Angie, Wdy, Abby are cheerful ppl and I sit between them so I will catch the conversation and join in at times =) Bt I wonder if we are colleagues or friends? Sometimes after engaging in those small talks, I wonder what I achieve? Maybe breaking the ice a little between us? But I don really like to engage in small talks but prefer to keep to myself. Mayb I have been too task-focussed and neglect on the relational aspect. Do I want to have a good relationship with my colleagues, hmmm, I must say its not my priority. The truth is not everyone can click with everyone at everywhere.
Something I discover abt myself is that my love language is Service. I think it used to be words of affirmation but then I realised I am nt so good at that la.. Below is what I did for SH. 15 hand-made cards. He was shopping ard for cards for some of the people he want to bid farewell to before he leaves the centre. He could nt find anything suitable so we decided that we will make them! =) He was so delighted with them =) Tt's why he always say 2 are better than 1!
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