The ending...

As I consider the different factors in my moving on, I am also wondering what are some of the factors that I might consider more carefully before making the final move. Maybe I could have discussed with more people and gather more perspective? Or maybe I could have endure a bit more and things may change?

SH kept asking if I regret my decision. I know that there is no return, so why regret? There are some things I know may take a long long time to change. In fact God told me to move on. I should invest my youth and time into somewhere where there will be more returns. Yes I missed my increment and bonus, and its slightly saddening. But then again, how can I compare apple with orange? It means I do not equate my work with monetary value and therefore, I have no problem about leaving at the point of increment and bonus. Idealism again?

I will never know the "what ifs" after I leave. Therefore I will not go and think about it. God has it in His hands.

Its sad to bid farewell to my work. To be handing things over that I treasure as my own. I dont think I am possessive but rather a love for the work that I took on. Each of them carries a part of my passion and love. Therefore its painful. Each day is a slow ache. It makes me want to run away from it. But its a necessary torture I have to go through so that the work that I have done can have a proper continuity to it.

Responses from colleagues have been mixed.. Some take it in their strides, some whom I am closer with expresses more emotions. I will miss them.. But cannot be emo about it becuase I understand that it is part and parcel of life. My heart and my mind in opposition again..

Its a rather emo period of me.. I look forward to the retreat as a closure but realised I cant go for the retreat. I wonder if there is wisdom in the policy? Yes forward looking, but perhaps people also need a closure so that they can look forward again..

Dear Lord, carry me through...

Thankful

Nehemiah 9 recounts the works of God in the history of the Israelites community.

And the conclusion is -God is merciful and compassionate.

As I recount this past 1 week of announcing to my friends my intent to get married next yr, I have one conclusion, God has given me good friends in my life.

YJ is so excited for me until she dreamt about it. Abang is so excited till he cant sleep at night! (I find it really funny! and heart-warming definitely!) HM already started to look out for venues, and plan the little items for me.. (though she may not be able to make it for my wedding, but she is a part of it =)) Abby also helped me sourced out somethings already! haha..

Thank you for your love in this.. Your affirmation gives me much courage.
This journey will be lovely when I have all your blessings.. =)