Fully human, fully alive

I thank God for Mr. L who helped me see love and bond between father and sons.

Mr. L suffers from motor neuron disease and it is degenerative in nature. Right now, he is only able to move his head from left to right, talk normally, eat normally and is cognitively intact. That's all he has. This disease is degenerative in nature and soon he will lose all that he is able to do now.

Although he has no caregiver at home, he is willing to be at home and be taken care of his sons who can only give him irregular meals, bath his at irregular times. His elder son is mentally slow and still needs his supervision. His younger son is still too young and needs to be schooling and unable to care for Mr. L. Next year, his younger son will be going to NS. How will Mr. L care for himself than? However dear Mr. L would rather be at home with his sons suffering inconveniences than to be send to nursing home.

His sons misses him too. They want him home to care for him. I am not too sure about their level of commitment, but for someone who is dying, one day at home to be with his children is far too precious.
He sleeps with his younger son in the same bed. His son brings him to the toilet every night and turn his body around 3 hourly to prevent bedsores. In the morning, dear Mr. L wakes his son up to go to school. That's how he supervises and care for his sons.

Being in the hospital is too scary. Seeing other patients to be inserted with NG tube is too painful to bear and too scary a thought to entertain. Soon, he may face this reality. He has make his wishes. He does not want to be on NG tube and would rather die than to be sustain in this manner.

For me, I listen to Mr. L and facilitated his thought processing. Mayb having someone to listen to is the only other thing he can do now, since he can hardly move himself anymore.

Mr. L reminds me that if my world is not about myself, I become more fully human, more fully alive. Even though he has all the reasons to complain about God and the world, but he does not. He thinks for his sons.

Dear God, is it still possible for Mr. L to be healed? Still possible for him to walk again? Pray that Mr. L will exercise whatever faith that he has in your healing.

And the first shall be the last and the last shall be first- Matt 19:30

Agape Love

Oswald's first Chinese New Year is spent going to San Peh's house for reunion dinner. Going to Wan Qing Yuan (Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall) on the first day of CNY and finally the library on the 2nd day of CNY.

Look at Oswald so happy with his Ang Bao from me!! haha...

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Bo Ai'= Agape love- my favorite calligraphy of Sun. Not that I can appreciate calligraphy, but I appreciate the revolutionary act that is motivated by agape love.

Just reflecting on my work in the hospital, I think agape love is really tough to put into action. I really hate dealing with anxious ++ family members.. sianz.... but thinking about it again, perhaps that happens because they lack God's peace.

But there have also been very nice patients who make helping much easier work to do.

Uncle Kia is one of those whom I got to know in the hospital. He has been taking care of this nutcase lady for about 27years. He calls her his ex-wife.. while she calls him husband. Anyway, Uncle Kia has been providing her with lodging, lending her some money, recommending her a job, and showing her concern. The thing is, this lady is a real nutcase. I believe anyone who sees her on the street would stay away from her. Her breathe leeks of alcohol, and cigarettes. She smashes things in the home when she is drunk and violent. This time round, Uncle Kia was hospitalized because she pushed him down during of their fights when she was drunk. This woman is so unhygienic to the point that Uncle Kia's home is infested of bedbugs because of her.

Uncle Kia has 2 children of his own. THey had wanted him to abandon her but he said that he would not because she has been caring for him for the past 27years as well... Now that he is unable to care for himself and require the care of his children, he has no choice but to let go. However as he stays with his children, he is leaving his flat for her to lodge in. He does not want to sell his flat away yet because he knows that this lady has nowhere to go.

Uncle Kia is a sweet and kind man. As he learns to let go of things that are already beyond him, he is a rested man. Uncle Kia does resembles a bit of agape love, to love the unlovable and those who cannot love him in return.. God bless his sincere love for others...