"the earth is full of the goodness of God.."

Jus had badminton with the staffs today.. not bad.. I quite like the game.. Its so intense to play with Tom Chua and some other older folks.. I realised that Robert, our dear Mr Robert Yeun ever played badminton before.. As in he learnt the game, the strokes and know the skills.. He is pretty good in the game.. haha.. But we laughed at him and said that he has the skills, but dun hv the strength to play! =p

At staff sharing today, one common theme that was brought up was HOPE. End of the matter is that, we are learning to look to Jesus no matter what goes wrong or goes right.. Life is real tough.. But that is only one side of the reality.. The other side of reality is God is Good! I want to look to the God-side of the reality.. =)

in Christ... we love

I jus professed my love to Charlene.. haha.. =) Not tt kind tt u r thinking of.. But as I was telling her I love her, I kinda think i really do.. I wont dare to say that my love is the deep deep kinda love. But to a certain manageable degree I do. N i do love all the girls that God has placed in my love.. Each of them..

Huimei, Rachel, Ruth, Santi, Charlene, Suyin, Nat, Eunice, Samantha.. And now even the girls in Christ Church..

Dear girls, pls remember that my love will fail you. I will fail you somehow, someday.. So let's all put our security in Christ, and our hope in Him.. =) Its only in Him that we can love..

明白

有时候真的觉得好累。是不是真的该好好休息?不懂得休息的人是有什么问题吗？努力对我来说到底是有什么意义？我不懂。 懂不懂也没有关系。知道问题的由来并不代表能够解决问题。我曾经认为明白问题就能够有答案，所以我努力想要明白。可是事实并非如此。生活中的问题不是明明白白就能够得到答案的。因为生活太复杂。。没有几个人能够明白一切。即使明白了，大家明白的事都不一样。到底谁对谁错？谁明白的比较正确？没有人能够说得明白。你明白吗？因为我不明白。。。

现在已经不想再要明白什么。只有一件事是需要明白的--神的真理。因为神的真理是给我生命的真理。只有明白神的真理，我才能够得到释放，获得自由。在基督里我是谁？这是追求真理的我，最基本需要知道的。如果不了解在基督里所能够拥有的权力和丰盛的生命，那么，一切的真理都是枉然。

Drink Offering

God desires Obedience, not Sacrifice. Arent they the same? I used to think that to obey is a form of sacrifice. But Pastor tell me no.. He said to obey is to love..

I told Margaret, to obey is painful because it takes alot out of me.. I literally need to die to do that. Each time when it comes to obedience/ submission, I feel pain within me. N that pain must be because there was a sacrifice made. But she reminded me of "Obedience is better than sacrifice", so obedience and sacrifice must be different. I didnt understand her at that point.

I was reading and I came across it again- to obey is better than sacrifice. I prayed and ask God to show me whatever it means? He showed me that when I obey and I find it a sacrifice, its because I am FULL of MYSELF. If I am emptied of myself, then to obey is nature. To obey is no sacrifice. The so-called sacrifices I made are really no sacrifice at all.. (Its just like you would not call the maid at home making sacrifices when they are doing what they suppose to do rite. For those who find this too chim, hope this illustration helps you.)

So I prayed.. N i asked God to empty me.. I know that if I still have some bit of self in me, I am not truly serving Him.. In the name of serving Him, I could actually be serving myself such as making self look good in front of others. So i asked to be emptied.. I m not the kind to usually say that I was led by the Spirit. But I know I was led.. He led me to pray this prayer.. And right after praying, fear set in. Fear of not knowing what may happen to me. What does it mean to be emptied of self? Would it be even more painful?

Whatever it is, I have already prayed.. Watever it is, there is no turning back. Prayer is made.. I really admire Paul, his life is a drink offering..

When you see me downcast at times, know that I am merely gg thru this period in my life where God is reminding me so much of death. N in the face of death, being downcast is naturally.. I cant believe it that I witness 2 deaths a few days ago. Right in front of my eyes..

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

I am learning...

I am learning to let go.. Not to only depend on my brains whenever things happen. Not to find a reason for everything.. To just let go, let event unfold and see where God leads.

This is the case with Christ Church, this is the case in my life, this is the case in my future.. This is the case everywhere.. "Thinking confuses the mind", I read somewhere.. I was struck by this statement. I tend to agree with it.. My thinking usually confuses me then give me clarity. But there are also times when my santified thinking brings me new insights. See I am confused now already.. thinking too muz..

Right now I am learning not to rely on the brains that God has given to me. Irony and sounds stupid. But I need to do that in order to rely on the Spirit that God has given to me too. Hopefully one day soon, my brain will be submitted to the Spirit. Right now I am just learning..

To learn to see the events happening around me, seeing God's hand in the events and to discern where He is leading. Just like Mary. I truly admire her for one thing, other than being courageous in bearing Jesus. I admire her for her heart. The bible says "she treasure all these things in her heart". She knows what it means to reflect in the events in life and to see and wait upon what God is doing in and around her.

Hopefully one day I can say "and Li Jie ponder and treasured all these things in her heart".
Help me dear Lord to see you working in every situation, to truly see Your omnipresence.

First Year Anniversary

Today is the first year anniversary of my full time work with the Navs..

I thank God for good friends like Serene, Margaret and WeiQi who helped me celebrate it.. =) Really really thank God for friends.. It was a pleasant surprise and it was really a surprise and they did it well.. Usually I can anticipate surprise and I hardly get surprise.. Actually didnt attribute much siginificance to the one yr anniversary.. But these friends did.. Thanks for appreciating me.. Though Margaret cant make it, she contributed too =) Thanks..

N Rachel brought me to HolidayInnAtrium restaurant today for a buffet lunch.. good food.. v v full.. but didnt think I ate alot.. feel tt its a waste.. But also thankful that God plan such a coincidence for me. To enjoy more and more good food to reward me for this anniversary.. (swim the fats away! haha)

Rachel, will continue to pray for you and always pray for you..

Wednesday gg to Tung Lok with YJ.. More good food.. Really thankful.. Looking forward to a good time with her. This is another plan by God to celebrate my anniversary.. =)

Lord, thank you for your encouragement and love..