The day God intervened...

The question of ministry involvement have long been on my mind, but there has no easy answer to it.

Since my wedding, I have dropped in my commitment. Now after I discover my pregnancy, I totally MIA from ministry.

Although many times I wanted to make a decision to leave TNT and move on, I find that it is easier said than done.

I wanted to find a cell group, but there is no determination to do so. Thought I wanted to leave TNT and move on, but I cant bear to let go.

There is no doubt that I am still passionate about helping young people, that I can contribute in helping the young one, but I cant seem to find my fit. I cannot keep up with all the commitments and therefore how do I consider myself a laborer?

Was left feeling confused for a long time and cannot even think straight about the issue. Today the breakthrough came. I was just typing an email to a beloved mentor when God shed light into the whole matter. I was so sad by the challenges I faced I cried, but I was also so glad God spoke.

Now that the issue is clearer to me, I believe God will guide me in my decision-making.

Into Week 12..

How's baby growing?

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes.

- Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close,

- his toes will curl,

- his eye muscles will clench,

- and his mouth will make sucking movements.

- if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it.

- His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now,

- and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

(If he/she excrete urine into his bladder, how does it get pass out from his/her body? Hmm, or does it get pass out through my body?)

- Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly,

- and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously.

- His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be.

- your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

How I feel right now?

Unquestionably feeling better as the nausea wave lessen in intensity. Still get breathlessness easily. A drop in stamina because I have not been able to jog for the longest time. Even though I am compensating it through walking, it seems that it does not improve stamina. A lower tolerance towards hot weather and gives me headache easily. Constantly hungry and so always eating.

But overall, I am getting better and more energetic. I can cope with sweeping and mopping half of the house at one go. Sleepiness is still part of the deal. I can sleep for the longest time, if not for the fact that I feel hungry, I would not have wake up. In sleepy moments at night, I feel the best because there is no nausea wave, no breathlessness, no hot weather.. Looking forward to the bed tonight..

When Children Are Torn Apart

I don't know how to respond to children who have their parents going through divorce.

The mix of emotions they go through cannot be overstated. Guilt that it is their fault their parents are seperating, fear that their parents will stop loving them, anxious over who their future will be with, will they be seperated from their siblings etc etc..

How do I tell a kid about divorce? No answer is enough for them.. I cant tell them that its a normal thing and everyone's gg through it.. bcos it not a normal thing. Its in fact a lonely journey that they have to learn to go through.. LONELY bcos their emotions are so unique to them alone.. So unique their siblings may experience otherwise..

It hurts so much to see the children suffering alone.

When you bring it to the court to decide on care and control rights, it make lives uncertain. Why cant daddy and mummy come to decision? Why shd the judge decide who I shd be staying with? HELPLESSNESS..

O God, every young life that goes through such pain hurts you deeply. But God, you will strengthen them.. You give them the resilience to go through the pain.. N with the comfort you have given to them, then will in turn comfort others. Pray that every little one will experience your love..