Silence, Solitude, Slow...

Coming here used to be a dread. It’s boring and not fun. But now, I do enjoy the time here especially when I am alone. It gives me time to be in solitude, just doing things alone. I guess it recharges me ready to go and face people again. When I finished all my work, I even have time to pray and read the Word. I am thankful for my time here.

Its time like this that I am forced to be quiet, reflect and slow down. Otherwise I would be rushing and rushing. Actually I feel bad that I am always ill prepared for my staff meeting. Robert would send the meeting agenda but then I always only take a look at them and off my pc. I just don’t have the desire to sit and look through the documents. Well, there are times when I looked through the things that I am supposed to, but then there are no thoughts or questions on my part la… anyway, not an excuse, I really do need to spend more time to be thinking through the things discussed at meeting, to be ready to contribute.

Talk about rushing… I think I walked too fast. ZQ say I walked too fast. How hard it is for me to walk slowly. I need time to wind down. Pastor Andrew say that his Sabbath has to be more than 3 months because the body takes about 3 months to slowly wind down and then the proper rest will only come in after the 3rd month. I realized that even in my strolling I need time to wind down to a strolling pace. When I first start strolling, I would be at a walking pace. After about an hour, I found that my pace begin to slow down and my body begin to relax.

Solitude, Silence, Slow is good… sometimes… haha…

Back from retreat

I am tired out from the retreat.. Think its more of a camp. I enjoy the messages, but the social part of me drains me out.. to be with nt so familiar people for 5 days.. I hardly have space to rest.

Anyway, I am tired.. Non-stop working after coming back fr retreat. I need to take a break, I need to sleep more.

Moving out of comfort zone

Going for retreat tomorrow. Not particularly looking forward to it… But since I have got to be there, I intend to make the most of my time there… Shall watch my diet, shall swim, shall get the most out from the speaker, shall pray a lot, shall read a lot!

What a luxury to be a full time staff! But I intend to give up this luxury…

I think more and more, God is telling me to move on, to experience some other challenges He has in store for me. Underneath all these challenges, I know is God’s intention to make me more mature, to be more like Him, to experience His strength and His grace. I don’t know why, but somehow being in full time for one and a half year now, I feel a little slack and very much in my comfort zone. I very much desire to get out of my comfort zone. I feel stagnant and I want to grow, and I know that there are such things as growing pains. Not only in our physical life such as puberty, but also in our spiritual life.

God has been challenging me. His message to me is consistent. I need to go through a bit more in my life. So I intend to do so. With all excitement and some fears. However the questions are, where will I go to? Will I be able to make it? I don’t know the answers to them all.

As for now, I will continue to challenge myself in my current work/ministry. There are some challenges that I am currently facing. I am glad that God has helped me to face them positively so that I grow from it. =)

神要造就一个可用之材，就把他放在风雨之中，让他经过风雨的生活.风要来就让它来吧，雨要下，我也没有办法。因为耶和华是我的庇护，是我的保障。