Week 34- Almost there

This week, Oswald is 34weeks old. He weighs about 2.6-3kg (a big baby) and estimated to be 50cm. He should be due in about 6weeks time. I hope he can come a little faster though (maybe in another 3 weeks?)

Watching some video on natural birth can be scary... The excruciating pain the women experience, some shouting and groaning.. I wonder how I would look like.

Within all my means, I hope that I can have a natural birth without having to have epidural. God has design us (or curse us?) to be able to suffer the pain of labor. Since God has designed me this way, then I should be able to do so without the pain relief medication.

Pray that God will give me all the self-control I need to apply the breathing techniques I have learned. Pray also for God to guide Oswald gently but swiftly down the birth canal. N for God to relieve my pain during birth. Pray for Paul to have wisdom to know what to do to handle the labor. Calm our anxiety and experience his peace all throughout labor and birth.

Its a new experience and not sure how I am going to handle it. But no point dwelling too much over it because since its unavoidable, so I think I will just have to go through it.

Oswald, together with God (protecting us), your dad and your mum, we can make it! Love to see you soon!

Hang in there..

I feel irritable, and guilty at times.

When Oswald moves so much that it hurts, I feel angry. But at the same time guilty because its not his fault that he is moving so much. The emotions are too mixed and I cannot reconcile them. So on occasions, the pent up emotions just let go.

Cant wait for Oswald's birthday to arrive. In view of the 4months maternity leave, i need to hang some work in the air. Plans have to be put on hold. Waiting seems to be the purpose of this season. N I am impatient.

Cant sleep last night.. Reflected on my work.. Seem to be deviating from what I think SW is, aligning more and more to the church. For some time, I have reconciled my struggles in my work, because I put aside my old way of thinking abt SW. My approach to my clients and what I believe should be the helping goal now becomes so much more focus (even narrow) as I think of how I do my work. N i am limited in helping them bcos my core commitment is to safeguard the project integrity.. In my work, I hope that I do not repeat doing the same things for this coming year. But to seek improvements in the way I do things and to always clarify the purpose. Although disturbing, bt at least, I come to learn something..

Hang in there LJ, and God will come..

Oswald- Week 28

At Week 28, Oswald's presence is undeniably strong. He moves rather frequently, sometimes causing my belly shifting to the right and left. I am so worried that he may burst his water bag that keeps him so comfortable. My body does not feel like my own, and its hard to accept that. It is shared with Oswald and how I wish sometimes he will be born soon so that this weird feeling will be gone.

But I feel guilty for wishing for that. I mean he needs his fair share of time in my body to be strong. Ohhhh, I pray for patience. Maybe disciplining a child starts from the womb. Sometimes Paul would ask him to be still and keep quiet so that he wont disturb me so much. Am I too much? Anyway, maybe discipline really does start from the womb. I pray that he will know that I love him despite the discomfort I am experiencing.

Anyway, I sense that he may be born earlier than expected. Better be ready soon after CNY. The way he is kicking, that way he is pushing on my pelvic and how the gynae says his head position is a little lower, all these gives me the hunch that he may be born earlier. Well, well, actually I cant wait for him to be delivered.. Jia you Oswald!

God, pray for your hand to continue to knit and form Oswald. Pray that he will be looking forward to seeing this lovely world you have created for him to have dominion over.

A Random Christmas Gift

"You're one Beautiful Mother. May you have a Beautiful Son or Daughter...

Bet you gonna be a Great Mum for years and years.

Just so you know this is Just a random gift for this coming Christmas..."

Received this "random gift" from a stranger on the bus yesterday.

He boarded the bus, sat beside me, and started doodling on his notebook.

His arm keep knocking into mine in the process of doodling.. I was irritated with him.

When he sense that I was alighting the bus, he did not gave way for me to move from my seat right away..

I thought he was strange.

Suddenly, he handed me the note. I was taken by surprise and thank him for it.

N I realized it was a 'random gift' from a total stranger.

Still, it cheered me up. =)

Oswald at week 24

At Week 24, Oswald is very active. Although he cant be felt by the outside world, not even his papa, but I can feel him frequently. Kicking when I am sitting, kicking when I am working, kicking when I am about to sleep. Thank God it does not interfere with my lifestyle much.

At week 24, Oswald is a little too big. Doc says he is about 2 weeks bigger than standard. Need to watch my carbs and sugar intake. I kinda have a craving for potatoes, but have to cut back on it.. Every meal is a headache bcos doc advise to eat more meat to reduce hunger pangs. But its just fish, chicken, pork and beef. What other choices do I have? Aiyaya, headache la..

I wish for rainy weather everyday. Even though its a bit more inconvenient, but its so much more comfortable for me. Sunny weather makes me want to hide, n it brings on headache. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be back to normal? Anyway, just some thoughts...

Just read about a friend's miscarriage. Just reminded know that its really not easy to bring forth a life. God is the Creator and Sustainer of life.

Btw, my child shall be called Oswald, named after our favorite author Oswald Chambers. Oswald also means power from God. His Chinese name is 书行. 书－follows the family name of his generation, also means book. 行－means journey. Combining the 2 words together, we hope our child will Journey with God all the days of his life according to God's word/book. 一生与主同行。

Parenting

The home visit was anointed by God. He revealed relationship dynamics that shows me the cause and effect in the girl's life.

I think she struggles very hard to go to school, but is not able to break through. There is a stronghold in her life and in her previous generations. Unless the Lord shows mercy and delivers them, there is no breakthrough. And how can there be a breakthrough, unless someone prays for them. N how can someone prays for them, unless people sees and knows. (Maybe i can share about them and ask for prayers)

When a parent spares the rod, he spoils the child. When a parent uses the rod too harsh, it breaks the child. A rod in the hand of the parents is God given authority and responsibility. It needs to be used with LOVE and WISDOM.

Even when I see the impact on this girl's life, what can I do other than to pray. For unless the Lord builds the house, the worker labors in vain.

God, use me as an instrument to channel life in the lives of these young ones.

Work

Much needs to be done.. but much are left undone..

Many ideas on what can be done.. but there are not many support..

Needs ranging from helping needy families, educating their children, befriending the emotionally disturbed, reaching out to youths who fight and slash.. Where can we start from?

We are only testing grounds, but the ground is hard. When God talks about toiling the ground and that labor will be hard, is He talking about the ground of the social needs?

Farmers over the years learnt how to watch the weather, understand the soil, and experiment with the nature of the plants they are planting.. Eventually, we have grains and vegetables in plently (mainly just for my country?) But they did it!

William Wilberforce took 17 years to abolish the slave trade.. With silly mistakes, good friends, some deaths, renewed passion from his confidante (aka wife), and sheer DETERMINATION, he did it. (Although slavery took on new forms in today's world) But he did it!

How are we going to do it? Abundant, desperate needs.. What is God calling me to do? Where is God leading us to?

Unless God builds the house, the builder builds in vain.. Be our Foundation and Anchor my dear Lord.

How' Baby this week?- Week 18

I look like I got some extra flesh at my tummy, n just overweight.. hmmm.. not too flattery but still trying to look my best with some suitable clothes.

Pregnant is an expensive event. New clothes, shoes, underwears, nutritious food and more food n more picky about food, medical fees, supplements etc etc...

So baby this week is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper).

When i go for my ultrasound scan, Wow! He/she is so active! Kicking his/her legs so frequently (though I can feel none of it yet)

According to what I read, his/her blood vessels are visible through his/her thin skin, and his/her ears are now in their final position. The genitals are noticeable now, but it was not so clear during the scan. =)

We have the names ready and we are prepared for either gender =)

Paul is talking to Baby everyday, as for me starting to learn likewise. Sometimes I feel bad that I was busy the whole day and neglected Baby. So i learn to take little moments to be with Baby such as while I am in the bus/train, walking or showering.

Thank God that preparing for motherhood is a 10month process that we all get the time to adjust and adapt.

I am so thankful that God is perfect in His timing and wisdom to create everything perfect. Thank you dear God.

Delivery

Got this feeling that I am going to have a smooth delivery...

N i am positive (at the moment) that I will be able to cope with the pain without the epidural. Since all women in the past and current have went through the process without painkillers, so I think I can as well. Need to up my threshold of pain!

Not stress about the delivery (at the moment), though the sight of bloody placenta during the afterbirth does put me off.. yucks (but its supposed to be nutritious).. Can i sell it for money?

Anyway, smooth delivery and pain enduring birth!!

Thank God for the peace you place in me =)

Week 15

How's baby growing this week?

- Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple).

- She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop.

- Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs.

- Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam.

- There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. - Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl!

How am I this week?

- Developing a bit of sore throat, probably from the vomiting I had, and the spicy stuff I like to eat.

- Running nose from hormonal changes and increased blood flow to my mucous membranes

- Slight headache because of this 2 conditions

- Tummy getting bigger and I cant fit into all my skirts and pants expect 1-2 of them.

- Lesser vomit incidents but still feel nausea when I get too hungry or the bus jerks badly. (Motion sickness to the extreme)

- Less sleepy, and definitely more energy. BUT, when I have running nose, my body's natural reaction is to rest. Runny nose makes me sleepy. So, I am now less sleepy from pregnancy but more sleepy from runny nose..

Jia you Jia you to me!