Delivery

Got this feeling that I am going to have a smooth delivery...

N i am positive (at the moment) that I will be able to cope with the pain without the epidural. Since all women in the past and current have went through the process without painkillers, so I think I can as well. Need to up my threshold of pain!

Not stress about the delivery (at the moment), though the sight of bloody placenta during the afterbirth does put me off.. yucks (but its supposed to be nutritious).. Can i sell it for money?

Anyway, smooth delivery and pain enduring birth!!

Thank God for the peace you place in me =)

Week 15

How's baby growing this week?

- Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple).

- She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop.

- Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs.

- Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam.

- There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. - Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl!

How am I this week?

- Developing a bit of sore throat, probably from the vomiting I had, and the spicy stuff I like to eat.

- Running nose from hormonal changes and increased blood flow to my mucous membranes

- Slight headache because of this 2 conditions

- Tummy getting bigger and I cant fit into all my skirts and pants expect 1-2 of them.

- Lesser vomit incidents but still feel nausea when I get too hungry or the bus jerks badly. (Motion sickness to the extreme)

- Less sleepy, and definitely more energy. BUT, when I have running nose, my body's natural reaction is to rest. Runny nose makes me sleepy. So, I am now less sleepy from pregnancy but more sleepy from runny nose..

Jia you Jia you to me!

The day God intervened...

The question of ministry involvement have long been on my mind, but there has no easy answer to it.

Since my wedding, I have dropped in my commitment. Now after I discover my pregnancy, I totally MIA from ministry.

Although many times I wanted to make a decision to leave TNT and move on, I find that it is easier said than done.

I wanted to find a cell group, but there is no determination to do so. Thought I wanted to leave TNT and move on, but I cant bear to let go.

There is no doubt that I am still passionate about helping young people, that I can contribute in helping the young one, but I cant seem to find my fit. I cannot keep up with all the commitments and therefore how do I consider myself a laborer?

Was left feeling confused for a long time and cannot even think straight about the issue. Today the breakthrough came. I was just typing an email to a beloved mentor when God shed light into the whole matter. I was so sad by the challenges I faced I cried, but I was also so glad God spoke.

Now that the issue is clearer to me, I believe God will guide me in my decision-making.

Into Week 12..

How's baby growing?

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes.

- Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close,

- his toes will curl,

- his eye muscles will clench,

- and his mouth will make sucking movements.

- if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it.

- His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now,

- and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

(If he/she excrete urine into his bladder, how does it get pass out from his/her body? Hmm, or does it get pass out through my body?)

- Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly,

- and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously.

- His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be.

- your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

How I feel right now?

Unquestionably feeling better as the nausea wave lessen in intensity. Still get breathlessness easily. A drop in stamina because I have not been able to jog for the longest time. Even though I am compensating it through walking, it seems that it does not improve stamina. A lower tolerance towards hot weather and gives me headache easily. Constantly hungry and so always eating.

But overall, I am getting better and more energetic. I can cope with sweeping and mopping half of the house at one go. Sleepiness is still part of the deal. I can sleep for the longest time, if not for the fact that I feel hungry, I would not have wake up. In sleepy moments at night, I feel the best because there is no nausea wave, no breathlessness, no hot weather.. Looking forward to the bed tonight..

When Children Are Torn Apart

I don't know how to respond to children who have their parents going through divorce.

The mix of emotions they go through cannot be overstated. Guilt that it is their fault their parents are seperating, fear that their parents will stop loving them, anxious over who their future will be with, will they be seperated from their siblings etc etc..

How do I tell a kid about divorce? No answer is enough for them.. I cant tell them that its a normal thing and everyone's gg through it.. bcos it not a normal thing. Its in fact a lonely journey that they have to learn to go through.. LONELY bcos their emotions are so unique to them alone.. So unique their siblings may experience otherwise..

It hurts so much to see the children suffering alone.

When you bring it to the court to decide on care and control rights, it make lives uncertain. Why cant daddy and mummy come to decision? Why shd the judge decide who I shd be staying with? HELPLESSNESS..

O God, every young life that goes through such pain hurts you deeply. But God, you will strengthen them.. You give them the resilience to go through the pain.. N with the comfort you have given to them, then will in turn comfort others. Pray that every little one will experience your love..

Pregnant- Week 9

Entering into Week 9, this is how he/she looks like.. =)

-Nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce.

- Starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months.

- Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers,

- and the valves start to form

- as do her tiny teeth.

- The embryonic "tail" is completely gone.

- Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear.

- The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. - Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks.

- She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct.

- The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones.

- Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

So how am I entering into Week 9 of pregnancy? Honestly, I am looking forward into advancing into pregnancy.

I feel horrible 50% of the time while pregnant. Nauseous, sore throat from being puke-ish, backache, tiredness, breathless, poor appetite are what makes me feel horrible.

I dont just have morning sickness, but i have sickness before and after my meal times- when i get hungry or when i am full, i feel sick.

Past week, while travelling to work, I feel nauseous for the most part of the time. Have to stop along the side of the road, wait for the nauseous wave to get over only for it to come back again and got to stop again. My colleague said I shd take cab to work, but if i were to do that, i will spend a bomb to take cabs during peak hours and i most likely have to do that few times a week or daily.

Everyday I hope for this 1st trimester to b over. To a better 2nd trimester! 2nd trimester are known to be the best time of pregnancy.

God, pls sustain me. You know how horrible it is when I have to travel so far to work and I have to travel so much for work.

Pregnant- Week 6

7.39am on a Sat morning.

Have spent my time with God and ate some fruits.

Enjoying some refreshing piano music while collecting my experience for the past 4 days.

Today is the 5th day I learnt of my pregnancy.

Trying to write down my experience and make sense of them.

On days like this, when I have time to be quiet and ponder and pray about the pregnancy, to breathe slowly and to feel the life within me, it begin to make sense and real.

Most of the time when I am engaged at work or people, the pregnancy seems unreal. The time when I remember I am pregnant occurs during meal times when I find that my appetite is unlike the past. Cant swallow much and most food seems to have a bitter taste to me.

Changes occurring to me:

1. Always feeling bloated.

2. Cramps

3. Constipated (at times I am unsure if I am having cramps or just need the toilet)

4. Breast feeling swollen

5. Poor appetite

6. Bitter taste to most food

7. Need to eat more fruits bcos it is refreshing and it helps to alleviate the bitter taste in the tongue

8. Backache

9. Breathelessness

10. In wonder of God's creation of life

11. In amazement of God's gift of love

12. In appreciation of God's love through Paul

13. In gratitude toward God's continual protection.

14. In trying to settle in the motherhood mode!

Many more changes will continue to occur. So far so good! The coming 7.5months seems hopeful to me that my journey will be a interesting one.

O God, from the mouth of infants and child You ordain praise. I praise You this day, with the life You create within me giving You praise also.

Day 8-9- Doubtful Sound in Manapouri

When you travel in NZ, there is always something worth stopping for.. Another mailbox along our journey from QT to Manapouri..

By the time we left QT and arrived at the town of Manapouri its almost 7pm. It was getting really dark and we were searching for our lodging.

Manapouri, as I can remember is a dark, cold place..

As we were reaching our accommodation for the night, we met 3 people who seem to be asking for help. We realized the couple was the owner of the campervan which had one wheel stuck in the soft mud. The 3rd guy was trying to be helpful, acting helpful but in fact not tt helpful. He does all the talking but dont see him doing much. Paul was the one running up and down the road trying to get the wheel unstucked. N when a girl drove past, he actually chit-chatted with the girl leaving all of us waiting and puzzled.

It got so dark in the end that we could no longer be helpful. We all decided to abandon the campervan, left it to the next day for professional help. We brought the couple up to the lodge where we all stayed for the night.

Anyway, the campervan owners are French and they had a few month old baby who was a bit sick that night. Because it was such a cold night, they decided to get a lodging instead of sleeping in their campervan.

All through the incident, I was helpless. The men did the problem solving, while I chit-chatted with the French lady.

Lodging at Manapouri is totally different from Wanaka. Its cold and dark. They give us wood to burn for warmth and one solar lamp which is not bright enough to light up the whole room.

Route to the toilet was even scarier. The 100m walk to the toilet is windy and super dark. No lamps to guide your path at all! Look at the cabin on the slope, that is ours. Its by God's grace we didnt fall while walking to the toilet. We requested for torchlight from the owner of the lodge but he says he has only one. So we thought it is only good that we give it to the French couple with their small baby.

Paul also had the experience to pick wood somewhere behind our lodge. It was dark, but we wanted more wood for fire. He claimed that he heard someone cutting wood from somewhere from behind our cabin. I had to follow him and provide some light from my hp. Honestly, I was quite frustrated bcos I find it dangerous! haha.. But we did find a whole storehouse of wood and we helped ourselves to it!! I guess no pain no gain ya..

I must mention the 2 horses.. One night I woke Paul up to accompany me to the 100m walk to toilet. We heard sound and Paul said he saw shadows of horses which I thought was ridiculous la! it was dark and I saw nothing anyway. BUT when the toilet auto light came on, 2 horses within 10m radius of me pop up and I was scared. But for the toilet, I must march on!! I tried to be calm and normal and pray the horses dont attack. I heard stories of animals attacking as a result of shock.. Thank God HE protected me again from shocked horses!!

Ok, the main purpose we travelled so much to the end of the earth is for the purpose of visiting the Doubtful Sound! Sound is like a bay, a harbor. Doubtful is its name bcos the captain of the first boat that discovered this place was doubtful whether it was appropriate to carry vessels.

Boarding the cruise..

Besides seeing the beautiful Doubtful Sound, the organizer of the cruise also wants us to taste the pure nature of their land. They drove the cruise near to a cliff, make us all wet and got us to collect pure ground water and drank them. It was yellowish in color (they said its normal) but it does not have a bad smell. According to the organizer, the water is being purified by going through the high mountain, the trees of the jungle and finally stream down to where we are. There are many such small streams as we cruise in Doubtful Sound.

See how calm and peaceful the waters are. The reflection of mountain on the water surface is rather sharp. No wonder they call it the end of the earth.. Undisturbed peace on earth. In this sound, there are penguins, seals, and we also saw dolphins.. We are not allowed to make noise when we approach these animals. We only stopped near enough and watch them from a distance. But playful dolphins swam to us and kinda did tricks to amuse us. So happy for these animals that they are in their natural homes and the people ard them are committed to preserving their peace.

The Manapouri Underground Power Station. From what I remember, it is enough to generate energy for the whole of Christ Church for certain period of time.. Cant remember liao...


After the trip, we went to a nearby town, Te Anua for dinner.

Having dinner at a french restuarant is one of my highlight. We had NZ lamb as what was claimed on the menu. Taste good. I love the soup. I cant really remember what soup it was but I know they dont cheat on the ingredients.

Tt night, after our cruise tour, we were so reluctant to return to that dark lodge cos we will be so bored, so we went a little further. It is just a slightly more happening town compared to Manapouri. Not many shops just some book stores, dvd rental stores but at least there are street lights.

When we go back to Manapouri, we just depend on our car headlights. By this time, Paul was more confident about driving in pitch dark night. Thank God, otherwise we may just be bored to death in our little lodge.

On the day we left, we met the French lady while she was on her way to wash up. In her limited English, she requested that we wait for a moment while she goes back to her room.

She returned with her a box of chocolates and told us it was her favorite. She would like us to have it as an expression of thanks for how Paul helped them. Although the campervan problem was not solved that night, they were touched by the way Paul tried to help. Her comments for Paul is that he is a good man. Haha.. I am proud of Paul as the guy who could be depended upon!!

In return, I gave her my Remarkables Sweet Shop chocolate and told her in as simple English as possible the significance of the chocolate. I was glad her baby recovered by that morning and as you can see he is sure to be a handsome boy. She is Pauline and her husband is Peter..

N btw, they got their campervan up to the lodge by that morning and we stood in front of it for photo-taking..

Paul said that he wanted to help because he understands what it feels to be in trouble in a foreign land. Ya I recalled how we felt when our car battery went flat at Arthurs' Pass. Thank God for another helpful tourist who has the jump-start kit in his car. Isnt all these people God sent?

This is the information booth of Freestone accomodation in Manapouri. If you see carefully, you will notice 2 horses. These 2 horses truly belong..

As we drove out to Christchurch as the final destination of our trip in NZ, we saw the most beautiful rainbow in our lives. God is beautiful and so is all His creation..

Manapouri is beautiful. That night, when I find myself warm enough to stand outside our cabin, to admire the beautiful night sky, I saw my first shooting star... It is beautiful.. N there are so many stars.. BEAUTIFUL.. (just a little too dark and too cold.. hee..)

Day 7- 8 (Arrowtown & Queenstown)

Early in the morning, we left Wanaka, the place that I love and head to Arrowtown.

One last picture of the small cabin I enjoyed so much!!

Arrowtown was fun with shopping! I thought it would be a small place and boring! But bcos there is nothing really much, so shops were set up for tourists like me to satisfy our shopping my shopping crave!

I enjoyed this sweet shop! Colors brings excitement!! I only have a small shopping basket.. Didnt get alot of things.. Not an implusive buyer and not a candy person.. Those in the basket are mainly for people.. just to satisfy my shopping crave.. haha!

Ooh, but I love this chocolate display counter and the lady cutting the freshly made chocolate for customers! They generously allowed us to try and try and try until we know what we want to buy. Free samples! Of course in the end, we honored their service by buying 6 kinds of flavors back!

I thought the name was great! Remarkable Sweet Shop. Later when I look at the map I realise that there is a mountain range in that area known as The Remarkables! Tt's why la!

Other shopping in the area include NZ jade jewellery shops (there is a jade craving shop there, quite similar to those you will see if you visit China), papua shell jewellery shops, souvneirs shops, boutiques. We bought papua shell pendant for me and jade pendant for my mum.

An interesting fact about Arrowtown is that there were a handful of early Chinese immigrants who settled in that area. They came to that place to dig for gold and make a living. What is left now of that area are some explanatory boards, old houses and autumn trees which reminded me and Paul of the harsh life they went through.

The small little dark house they stayed. Only enough for a single man. As they cook inside, the interior is dark with soot. I understand that the house is made small so that they can keep out burglar and cold wind.

The houses is about 1.5m in height. And the surface area of a toilet? I guess so..

Walking along the path is almost a solemn experience. You dont feel right or respectful to make jokes as you walk along the path where these early Chinese immigrants have walked before.

Finishing Arrowtown, on our way to QT.

Along the road from Arrowtown to Queenstown, Paul could not resist taking a picture of all these mail box. It is rather fascinating as to what people can make to use as a mailbox. We see old dvd players, another looking like a radio, taps etc etc.

N Paul is not fascinated with mail boxes, he is also interested in lamppost, big trucks etc.. Sounds like some childhood toys ya..

Queenstown is a busy small city filled with cars, pedestrians and some buses. (You see none of these public buses in the little towns but some buses in the cities)

Upon reaching Queenstown, I was already hungry that we went hunting for food! A small shop that sells fish and chips. So we quickly settled ourselves in that shop for a short break.

It was quite rush as I remember we were due to leave QT by 4pm in order to reach our next destination by night fall.

B4 leaving QT, we had an agenda. N that is to take the skyline gondola to some high places and see the city view of QT.

See the view behind us? QT is a city surrounded with nature. I guess in NZ, you cant run away from mountains and lakes. I am not sure about the North Island though.

A pity the 'luge' is undergoing maintenance, otherwise I would have a chance to do that in NZ. I have not tried the luge in Sentosa but thought I might be quite scared of the speed and height! Hmm, maybe the one in NZ would be scarier for me cos of the greater height and the cold wind!!

After the gondola, we were ready to move off to our 2nd last destination in NZ- also known as the end of the earth for the New Zealanders because on the highway map, that was the last town and after that, there is no more highway.

Lucas Lion

Lucas: 'Who created God? Who make God appear? How does God look like?'

My sis sms me the above

i replied: "God is the beginning and the end. No one created God, He is there from the beginning. God created everything just like the Magician Liu Qian." (Lucas know who is Liu Qian ok)

My sis replied: "So God need to eat or not? God can turn us into lion or not?"

I replied to my sis: PRAISE GOD for tuning Lucas' heart to Himself!!!

Lion has special significance for Lucas. When he was afraid to attend his first day of school, we told him to be strong. He say he cannot but God can help him to be strong! He will be a lion! Lion means courage for him!

God, you will not turn Lucas into lion, but you will give him the spirit of courage as a lion to live a life of faith for you!!! PRAISE GOD!!