Cooking in the office for the past 3 days was fun. Corrie did brilliant in the little pantry we had! Healthy, no oil, low salt, more vege, less meat, brown rice.. sounds like cow? Not at all! We had salmon, bak kut, soup, vege, vege and lots of vege..
Though some unhappiness in the office, but focus on the little blessings makes life easier.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Empathy.
To empathise means to leave the our own shoes for the moment and step into the world of another. It involves leaving my world, values, culture, thoughts and suspend our judgement for that moment of empathy. It definitely involves my feelings. (Modified from John Powell, not my wisdom)
But she told me I cannot feel what my clients feel. I am only to identify, and understand but not to feel along. How on earth am I suppose to do that? I am not convinced by what she say anyway, and much less to carry out what she say.
Its hard to communicate what to non-SW about SW. Our proj was a platform to demonstrate the love of God to the community and I find her becoming more and more financial base. She question my fundamental belief about how I see my r/s with my client, I didnt have the answer. Now I kn0w- Outreach to demonstrate God's love. If outreach, then I will be all things to all man as Paul say. But in what context to be what to man?
But she told me I cannot feel what my clients feel. I am only to identify, and understand but not to feel along. How on earth am I suppose to do that? I am not convinced by what she say anyway, and much less to carry out what she say.
Its hard to communicate what to non-SW about SW. Our proj was a platform to demonstrate the love of God to the community and I find her becoming more and more financial base. She question my fundamental belief about how I see my r/s with my client, I didnt have the answer. Now I kn0w- Outreach to demonstrate God's love. If outreach, then I will be all things to all man as Paul say. But in what context to be what to man?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Fully Human, Fully Alive
"Glory of God is a person fully Alive!"
Full Alive, Fully Human
John Powell
Analyzing means I got to stand outside and think about what people say, their underlying meaning and what make them say what they say.
Finding myself gradually unable to fully experience my own life. Everything operates on multiple levels- the action level, the mental level, the emotional level and recently I learnt to be aware of the spiritual level. Constant reflection and processing. I am glad I am not on twitter, otherwise I will be so busy twitting every other thoughts.
Blessed by John Powell's wisdom in that statement. For me, to be fully alive means to fully experience all that is available for my sensory to experience. Its not just about the mind or the mental processes. Its also about experiencing it emotionally, spiritually with my joy, my sadness.
Fully Human, Fully Alive!
Full Alive, Fully Human
John Powell
Analyzing means I got to stand outside and think about what people say, their underlying meaning and what make them say what they say.
Finding myself gradually unable to fully experience my own life. Everything operates on multiple levels- the action level, the mental level, the emotional level and recently I learnt to be aware of the spiritual level. Constant reflection and processing. I am glad I am not on twitter, otherwise I will be so busy twitting every other thoughts.
Blessed by John Powell's wisdom in that statement. For me, to be fully alive means to fully experience all that is available for my sensory to experience. Its not just about the mind or the mental processes. Its also about experiencing it emotionally, spiritually with my joy, my sadness.
Fully Human, Fully Alive!
Friday, May 14, 2010
NZ Day 1 & 2
New Zealand is beautiful but I didnt know how to enjoy myself in the beginning.
I thought they should be friendlier, more courteous.. My own expectation was not helpful to the trip. But after awhile, things became better as we become more accustomed to the culture.
Day 1- From Christchurch to Akaroa- Ajustments
Many things to adjust on the first day.
1. Paul driving an auto-car, he only drove manual in the past.
2. Cold weather
3. Surprised by the expensive food when it claims to be affordable
4. Went to bistro at 530pm, was told to return at 6pm. Hmmm...
5. Waitress confused when we order hot water
Day 2- Akaroa to Hokitika
1. Enjoyed the beautiful scenery in Akaroa in the morning. Majestic sight of mountains and lake, aromatic scent of flowers in the garden and cheerful chirping of birds. Saw a ladybird on a leaf. Nature is so close to me.
2. Had our morning breakfast in the little garden of where we stayed (Halfmoon Cottage)
3. Along the way to Hokitika, the scenes are more or less like this. Sheeps, cows, deers or some horses. I like those with a whole field of sheeps. Reminded me that God is the one who owns them all.
5. Met roadblock along the way. Need to go by Telegraph Road and reach Aurthur's Pass to go to Hokitika. But road works! Stupid GPS only know Telegraph road. Thankful to a BP man, who taught us the way and recommended directory for us.
6. The fun about self-travel in NZ is there are always something worth stopping for. Farms, creeks, lakes, rainbows, signposts, rolling mountains, even postbox!
7. Finally arrived at Arthur's Pass- halfway from Akaroa to Hokitika. Lunch time!! Ice cream time!
Upon finishing, found out that car battery died cos headlights on. But we survive cos of a helpful traveller who fix the car! Thank God. I felt helpless when it came to the car. But I did what I know- pray!
8. We finally reached Hokitika by night fall. Dinner time! Went hunting around for places to eat. Found that French Cafe that Paul missed so much when he went to NZ yrs back. Must take pic of tt place.
Can you see the pattern of travelling. Travel, eat, toilet. Travel, eat, toilet. Then sleep at night. Tt's how it is until we reach Day 3! =)
Blog more next time. No time liao! got to go!
Self-trapped?
What truly makes me happy? What brings joy?
Strucked by the different things we pursue to bring us satisfaction.
Some a little more different from mine (occassionally I find it hard to swallow) but reminded myself that its their life and I am no judge.
Strucked by the different paths we choose in life.
Some I cannot even fathom the purpose of it but reminded myself again that God created each one different and each had a different purpose in God.
Strucked by the attitude that was held on me.
Some which I am amused by. Some which offended me. But reminded myself that I am who I am, I please no man but God and Paul.
I am puzzled, by others and by myself. The difference I begin to sense more n more. Time to catch up LJ. Yet there is this unwillingness to move beyond. Trapped by my own puzzlement. Funny.
Interesting how gossips travels so fast in the social service sector but news travel so slowly among friends. 1 night of catching up means a lot of new revelation for me. ha! Puzzled once again. Maybe I dont facebook, twitter etc. But unwillingness remains. Trapped by my own unwillingness. Funny. Crazy.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
May they know You
I am beginning to not know how to express myself because its a little complicated. Sharing with others becomes a bit redundant because I wonder who would truly listen.
Listening is part of my job but yet I dont think anyone truly listens to me. Therefore communication becomes pointless because a mere exchange of words does not mean communication.
My audience becomes very limited, and eventually friends become very limited as well. Its a choice that I made. Conscious or unconscious decision?
The night I cried from shouldering too much emotional baggage from listening to too many stories, there was no one I could share with. I learnt that night to consistently surrender to God. Pray for spiritual coverage. Pray for emotional ties with clients to be cut.
Lonely journey? Nope. Theirs is a lonelier one. I have Christ but they have none.
Heal them. Manifest your Sovereignty in their lives.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Mac..& Photos
Using my very first macbook to enter this blog... !!!! Woohoo!! Been wanting to update my blog for a long time but no opportunity to do so.
Macbook Pro! Cool! hehe.. very high resolution screen, perfect for movie watching.. so clear until I can all the imperfection on my face! Interesting function and I believe once I get use to it, I will realise its potential. Learning..
N yes I am connected to the internet again from my home. finally after a few months. Paul says I am married to my macbook now.. hmm, hardly impossible la.
Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures from the wedding =) Just wanna share with you who is reading my blog =)
One of the most natural pic of Paul and myself.
Paul meeting his challenges and the challengers with grace and humor..
Ever cheeky Lucas.. Enjoying the day with me as well..
His coming make my wedding very special.. I cried during his wedding because I was so happy for him. (I was shocked that I cried too) A good hug is a must with Michael Chiam!
Thank you Serene and Marge for your sacrificial help.. Dont have much photos with you two. Wish I have more with both of you..
How am I after wedding?
Being married and staying with another person, a lot of things cannot go my way. Endure seems to be the key word. However there are many fun and happy moments too because I think I enjoy Paul's sense of humor.
Marriage needs to be built on a strong foundation and we are still building it.
Time to get off my macbook and go cooking..
=)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wg
SWkers increase in pay!! 14-16%!! Will New Life do that? Nt sure.. HR on leave, want to check with her when she come back.. Pray hard..
Recently, Wg really pains my heart. Abandoned by husband 4 years ago, that is how she sees it- abandonment. As we chatted causually, she tear many times. She make a disclaimer, "Not because of him", but because how hard her life is. (She works part time and earn abt $500 to support herself and 2 children. She is also dependant on formal social support like us to support her. But for how long can she survive this way?)
Her persective of how hard her life is trapped her in bitterness. Every few sentence would invoke her tears. Little mistake from her children invoke her anger.
She knows that she is depressed. She knows she scolds her children badly, and she describes herself as a mad woman. She knows but she cannot help herself.
Busyness is the only way to numb her pain. Rushing her children to school, rushing through meals, rushing to work, rushing at work, rushing home again to cook for her children. She is tired from busyness, but she cannot stop being busy. Its painful to be free.
She wears a cross around her neck, so we pray. Only God can help her.
Free her from the spirit of depression, anger and bitterness. Surround her with your love and help her to know that she is not alone.
Recently, Wg really pains my heart. Abandoned by husband 4 years ago, that is how she sees it- abandonment. As we chatted causually, she tear many times. She make a disclaimer, "Not because of him", but because how hard her life is. (She works part time and earn abt $500 to support herself and 2 children. She is also dependant on formal social support like us to support her. But for how long can she survive this way?)
Her persective of how hard her life is trapped her in bitterness. Every few sentence would invoke her tears. Little mistake from her children invoke her anger.
She knows that she is depressed. She knows she scolds her children badly, and she describes herself as a mad woman. She knows but she cannot help herself.
Busyness is the only way to numb her pain. Rushing her children to school, rushing through meals, rushing to work, rushing at work, rushing home again to cook for her children. She is tired from busyness, but she cannot stop being busy. Its painful to be free.
She wears a cross around her neck, so we pray. Only God can help her.
Free her from the spirit of depression, anger and bitterness. Surround her with your love and help her to know that she is not alone.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Jesus loves me
This is the story of Sn.
Sn is 11 years old, home schooled, lovely and cheerful because she knows Jesus loves her.
But Sn has the body of a 2year old. All day long, she sits on her bed, or if she goes out of the house, she needs to be pushed in a pram. She has a big big pram to herself, because all the extra space in the pram is needed for an oxygen tank and a generator to generate the oxygen for her to breathe.
If she needs to shower, she needs to remove her oxygen mask, and rely on a small tube which will deliver oxygen for her. If she needs to otake photo, she will remove her mask and stop breathing for a few seconds in order to look pretty without her mask on.
Unknown disorder trapped her inside a small body. Not exactly handicapped but unable to do many things normal 11 years old can do. Her mother can only teach her at home. She can write neatly, draw and color in rainbow colors, sing songs and memorise verses because her mother wants to keep her mind sharp.
At the age of 3, she nearly died, but her crisis led her mother and herself to know the Lord. Her father became more open. God's grace kept this family lovely and supportive of each other.
Want to cry many times when I see her. But how can i be sad when she is so positive. Her courage gave me courage. And gaver her mother and father courage. But I sense she may not outlive her parents. I guess this is also God's mercy. If she outlive them, who will care for her?
Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..
Sn is 11 years old, home schooled, lovely and cheerful because she knows Jesus loves her.
But Sn has the body of a 2year old. All day long, she sits on her bed, or if she goes out of the house, she needs to be pushed in a pram. She has a big big pram to herself, because all the extra space in the pram is needed for an oxygen tank and a generator to generate the oxygen for her to breathe.
If she needs to shower, she needs to remove her oxygen mask, and rely on a small tube which will deliver oxygen for her. If she needs to otake photo, she will remove her mask and stop breathing for a few seconds in order to look pretty without her mask on.
Unknown disorder trapped her inside a small body. Not exactly handicapped but unable to do many things normal 11 years old can do. Her mother can only teach her at home. She can write neatly, draw and color in rainbow colors, sing songs and memorise verses because her mother wants to keep her mind sharp.
At the age of 3, she nearly died, but her crisis led her mother and herself to know the Lord. Her father became more open. God's grace kept this family lovely and supportive of each other.
Want to cry many times when I see her. But how can i be sad when she is so positive. Her courage gave me courage. And gaver her mother and father courage. But I sense she may not outlive her parents. I guess this is also God's mercy. If she outlive them, who will care for her?
Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Ev
This story is about Ev.
She has a son who has autism, 4 yrs old. She has another 2 year old daughter, whom I suspect to be hyper active. Her husband is not bringing home any income as he is investing his time in his 3-month study course which promise him a more stable income. For the sake of her family, Ev is coping alone.
In the night, when her head hits the pillow, her world is spinning and her body trembles from the stress accumulated throughout the day.
Autism alters the family in many ways...
1. Her social circle. Ev is rather isolated and dare not go out of the house because she is often misunderstood. Scolding from the neighbors and passer-bys are common as her son express himself by hitting other children. They do not understand that autism children look normal but their world is different.
2. Her living condition. Her house is empty except for the old dining table, old 2 seater sofa and a old TV set, messy bed and a simple children's bed where the 2 kids share. All other things post a danger to the children. It needs to be empty.
3. The family church going arrangement. Her husband goes to church first, then he comes home to manage the children, then she goes to church.
That is her only respite and on Tues night she attends a support group for mothers whose children have autism.
I visited her and help her manage her children. She take one and I take another.
Before I left, I wonder how she is going to cope with the rest of the day. I wonder what she do in a day. It can drive anyone crazy if not for the grace of God.
God is strengthening her daily. How deep is the mother's love for her children. And how much deeper the Father's love for us.. though we are so unlovely. In deep appreciation of His love for me.. So unworthy but forgiven.
She has a son who has autism, 4 yrs old. She has another 2 year old daughter, whom I suspect to be hyper active. Her husband is not bringing home any income as he is investing his time in his 3-month study course which promise him a more stable income. For the sake of her family, Ev is coping alone.
In the night, when her head hits the pillow, her world is spinning and her body trembles from the stress accumulated throughout the day.
Autism alters the family in many ways...
1. Her social circle. Ev is rather isolated and dare not go out of the house because she is often misunderstood. Scolding from the neighbors and passer-bys are common as her son express himself by hitting other children. They do not understand that autism children look normal but their world is different.
2. Her living condition. Her house is empty except for the old dining table, old 2 seater sofa and a old TV set, messy bed and a simple children's bed where the 2 kids share. All other things post a danger to the children. It needs to be empty.
3. The family church going arrangement. Her husband goes to church first, then he comes home to manage the children, then she goes to church.
That is her only respite and on Tues night she attends a support group for mothers whose children have autism.
I visited her and help her manage her children. She take one and I take another.
Before I left, I wonder how she is going to cope with the rest of the day. I wonder what she do in a day. It can drive anyone crazy if not for the grace of God.
God is strengthening her daily. How deep is the mother's love for her children. And how much deeper the Father's love for us.. though we are so unlovely. In deep appreciation of His love for me.. So unworthy but forgiven.
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