Half a blind bat

How does it feel being half a blind bat?

I shower myself with my eyes close, opening it occasionally only to see if its shampoo or conditioner I have taken. I can only feel my way around the bathroom and try to find the correct place where I hang my clothes. I use my finger to feel if its fork or spoon I have taken and realize that I still have taken the wrong one. I cannot sms most of the time because the lights from handphone is too bright for my eyes. Even though its one eye that is injured, but the other eye is suffering as well. It cannot really open except for a small slit occasionally because any major movement in the eye would affect the injured eye making it painful. As I typed this, I thank God that I do not need to move my eye too much as my fingers are trained and skilled at the keyboard. I only need to focus on the monitor making sure that I typed correctly. Every 2-3 minutes I still need to close my eyes for a rest.

Most of the time, its my touch senses I am depending on. Without the ability to use sight is quite a peaceful world. its not that distracting. Guess how much I slept? Came back from doctor at 5pm, slept till 545pm for my medication, sleep again till 645pm for medication, sleep again till 745pm for medication and dinner, sleep again till 845pm for medication, this happens every one hour interval till 12mn. Then I still sleep like a log till this morning 8am. Then I took my medication and slept till 11am. Till I decided that its too much. The doctor had wanted to give me sleeping pills cos he is worried that I would feel too much pain to fall asleep, but I insisted against it. Its more painful at night, but I don’t think sleeping pills is the way. I took panadol in the end.

Without being able to see most of the time, I really feel more peaceful. Though I am so assured that I will recover in about 1 week. To give up my sight forever for such peace, no way.

The first hour it happened, it was frustrating. Then it was scary. The thought of never being able to see with one eye again. Actually, part of me also knows that it’s the idea of being imperfect physically that scares me.. not that I am perfect, but such a obvious imperfect is hard to accept.

Sorry I have not mentioned what happened to me. I injured my right eye and is suffering from cornea abrasion.