Graveyard of the Fireflies

I was not expecting anything like this. It is an anime by my favorite author and I was expecting to be nice. Maybe I was not expecting anything, cos each of his anime gives me a wonderful surprise. So I was awaiting that pleasent surprise.



At the end of the anime, I was so disturbed I cant sleep well. Its a story that happen to 2 Japanese siblings during WW2.
What is the major story plot for war? Violence, deaths of millions of soldiers and civilians, victories and defeats, territories won and lost...
But what is the minor story plot in war? What do you think? I think they are pains, abandonment, helplessness, rejections, struggles, hunger, loneliness, fear...

Through the eyes of these 2 siblings- a brother trying to care for the younger sister, a war story was told. The love between them, the security the brother tries to offer his sister (by not telling her that their parents had died). The provision the brother tries to give his sister (by getting food through stealing, begging robbing). The hope he tried to offer her (by bringing her to the seaside for some fun time). I see 2 young hopes trying to stay alive during war.

Despite their fighting to stay alive, they lost. When the sister passed away due to malnurition and sickness, the brother eventually died having no hope nor reasons to be alive anymore.

It breaks my heart to see how they tried to remain hopeful. It torn my heart into pieces to see the little girl wasting away. My heart bled when the brother had to steal to survive. I grieved at the end of the anime when both died slowly.

I had never seen war, and I pray I shall never see it.

Sufferings in this world is everywhere. I prayed and I grieved yet but its not enough. Lord, help me do something. What else can I do?

The good Lord reminded me, "I am still confident of this, I will see the GOODNESS of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13. There is yet goodness in this world. Not all is lost.
Shown forth your mercy Lord. Your salvation come swiftly Lord. Let your hope shine in their hearts... Love you Lord

Rest Day

Finally felt rested today. Had some time of BS with fayth and jolynn, went walked around with Jia, watched Zhi's concert with Mum & Lucas, pray, then working again now..

I wanted to only work tml morning, but the constant thinking of wat's undone gives me no sleep.. haha.. So here I am almost completing my work.. =)

I have began to put in my to-do list "ETWG". It's to remind me that I got to set aside time for it.

I am glad that I am coping. Stressed as it may be to have many things to handle, I am glad that there is this resource within me which I am tapping on. Each day, this resource runs low and always needs to be filled up. I know that the Spirit within me is helping me. And to allow Sabbath rest is to empower the Spirit again...

People, I dont like to say that I am busy. But rather say that I am occupied. Busy gives this notion that the time is not handle well, for example, double-booking yourelf, forgetting appointments, no time to finish work etc. I hope to say that I am occupied. So one day if u see me having the above symptoms, pls tell me...

In the midst of transition...

Busy work life has a way of crowding human mind with too many.
To make sure that I continue to be mentally alert and growing, the discipline of reading must not stop. Thanks to WQ, I had this good read for this past 1 month to keep me growing. =) Thanks Bro!

Wonder how he is now. Must sms him to ask him..

Starting parttime as a social worker is definitely good in helping me transit into the new role. But its a challenge to start focus on one task at one time because there are many things that needs attention, from TNT & from my new office. Its a challenge but also a good experience.

Even after I work as a social worker full time, there are some things that I would need to continue regularly. Swimming once a week, finish a book every month, Qt everyday, prayer everyday, quality time with Lucas, quality with family, qualiy with friends, time to meet girls, time to prepare and have BS.

Is it possible that to do all these? I wonder how far a person's capacity can be stretched? My supervisor has trememdous amount of capacity. She is a mum of 2 young kids, serving in church, handles so many things in the office, and efficient is her work. At the same time, she enjoys good relationships with people in the office. Looking forward to learning from her. Believe she would be a good role model.

Talking to Kris recently helped me discover that I am pretty leader-motivated. It's God's grace to give me a good leader at work. In fact, He has always been giving me wonderful godly leaders as role-models and to inspire me.

Thank you Lord..

Still helping people but different already...

Had quite a busy day today.. Woke up at 6am so that I can have BS with Fayth & Jolynn at 8am at Woodlands!!! ahhh.. haha.. but I drag Jia to suffer along with me! cos we are attending the Christ CHurch Carnival.. =) Not bad.. quite fun.. spend all our tickets on food.. hee.. As we walked along, I saw alot of students.. the one thought really is- the harvest is truly plentiful and the laborers are really few... I wish I could have all the time in the world to spend time with each of them.. But really, not possible..

Time with the students really will be rewarded.. As I was teaching halfway at SALT today, I received an sms fr LH. She was asking me if there is any verse to get someone to accept Christ. I thought she wanted to share with a friend. So i reply her Rev 3:20. Her nxt reply was, "Li Jie, i want to accept Christ =)". What could I do but to call her immediately and to confirm with her and then pray. LH is an interesting girl. She has an interest in the Word even when she was not a believer. There were interest and desire to know God. Yet her parents' objections were what that was stopping her. I am so glad that she has somehow with the help of God, she overcame that obstacle and decided to follow Christ. Its like seeing your child returning to you. Now she says she wants to share with her friend, who also like her, wanted to know God but afraid of parents' objection.

The most meaningful thing in this world is to help someone to know God, to build a person up in the knowledge and r/s with God. Nothing in this whole wide world beats it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I enter in social work, and helping some of those people who dont wanna help themselves, I need to adjust my perspective and expectations about my work. Social work target audience and TNT is different. I cannot bring my expectations from TNT into social worker.

I know God is going to stretch my love for His people..Pray with me.. to love with wisdom and depth of knowledge and insight

Fruit of Perseverance

Finally had my first proper BS with them.. They were not a very easy lot to handle right from the beginning, but I guess with time and familiarity, things became alot better. Over the year, they have grown in some maturity. But girls being girls, they still have the same sort of girls' problem, but its really but better.

Like Marge says, growth is natural and will happen for sure. I think I see it in them. I didnt do alot with them or for them, despite that, God is giving them growth, for God is the only one who makes things grow.

Felt that today we had a heart to heart BS, where I could share my passion and convictions with them. Admitted to them that having them for BS were never easy, but I am encouraged to see them persevering together with me. And somehow we were glad that we did not gave up on one another.. =)

They are new every morning...

I awoke this morning to the glorious sunshine shining into my room. This is God's wonderful reminder of His glory and His love that is new every morning.

What used to be a source of irritation is now to me a new source of inspiration & hope. Many years of sleeping in that room, I have missed out on God's awe day after day. I don't know what came over me, maybe God really does work miracle over night..

我 们 不 致 消 灭 ， 是 出 於 耶 和 华 诸 般 的 慈 爱 ； 是 因 他 的 怜 悯 不 致 断 绝 。

每 早 晨 ， 这 都 是 新 的 ； 你 的 诚 实 极 其 广 大 ！

我 心 里 说 ： 耶 和 华 是 我 的 分 ， 因 此 ， 我 要 仰 望 他 。

凡 等 候 耶 和 华 ， 心 里 寻 求 他 的 ， 耶 和 华 必 施 恩 给 他 。Lamentations 3:22-25

Started my first day as a social worker on Tues.. No comments yet cos I dunno how it really is. First day, nothing to do.. Not used to it. Haha.. But Tues, Thurs are social work days while Mon, Wed, Fri are Nav days. This kinda of arrangement wil go on til April. I sense the struggle to have to cope with the 2, cos on different days I got to put on different caps.

So far so good.

Some random pictures we took for the sake of the shirt! haha..



But I like this the best! The true essense of the t-shirt..

Dear Dear Friend

To be a caregiver, we will embrace all kinds of people. It calls for compassion, wisdom, sensitivity, and a lot of discernment. Hurting people can be irrational and sometimes they may do things that are irrational.

Its not easy to be a caregiver. Whether caring for a child, a hurting friend, an aging parent, or a sick cat/ dog, its calls for alot. Sometimes you care, but the cared for party barked in return. What then do we do? - Keep on loving as it is. Maybe there will come a time for retreating till the other party is more ready, maybe its to press on a little more just so that we may break the wall of isolation.

A disciple-maker is a caregiver in way. We embrace all kinds of people. It calls for compassion and wisdom, sensitivity and a lot of discernment. Disciples can be irrational and may do things that are irrational. Oh Lord, thank you for loving us irrationally!

About J, I remember she told me that its wonderful to have someone believe in you. I forgot what's her exact words but the idea is if you have someone to believe in you, it would inspire you to go for it! I believe in her heart to want to help others.

Hey girl, I trust you ok. I trust you more than many others so I chose you. Just like John 15:16 says, "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fuit that will last." God chose me in His love to go and bear frui for Him.

Hope my faith in you is not a burden because my ultimte faith is in God. Times when you let people slip pass you, I know you dont mean to. Just like when let people slipped pass me, I didnt mean to either. God merely let them slipped passed us so that He can hold them Himself. Isnt it beautiful to know that they are all in the Lord's good hand right now.

I know you have your reseverations and fears, but do not let those fears hold back the blessings you could give to others and the blessing you could receive in return. Trust that He would enlarge your capacity to hold many more people in your heart. I really hope to see you fruitful and multiply abundantly.

Be fruitful. Bear good fruits. Fruits that will last. Thank God that we have journeyed together till far and have the same heartbeat for people. We may not see eye to eye on many things (i still rem the tall girffra and the short mouse!), but the heartbeat of God is not to be missed in our lives. Jia You!!!

a time for defeat

They lost quite badly today. Compared to the NgeeAnn one, this is the 2nd worst defeat or the worst defeat so far? I dunno. I am not them. They are the ones going through the training, they are the ones playing the match. They feel it, they suffer from it. I can never be in their shoes. The extent of the pain, the regrets they feel, I dont think I can ever experience it.
I can only cry with them and comfort them, and then walk them out of it.
Crying is good, it means they are uncomfortable. It means they dont want to lose and will therefore work harder the next time. It would worry me more if they dont show sadness.
But they cried so bad. Maybe I shd say they wailed, because they didnt just cried. They wailed and sobbed..
Amanda seems strong to me, but she cried bad also. It surprised me too see her like this. I have seen another side of her.
I am glad Weishi is there to comfort them. Being their senior and their captain, she is in a good position to comfort them.
Sometimes, I feel like an outsider. Sometimes I feel that I really am an outsider. They need people whom they identify as an insider to help them, and to disciple them.
I wonder if I am wasting my time. Will I achieve anything with them? Maybe there is someone in a better position to help them. Sigh, time and again, I wondered about this question.
This a long term question that SHSS have been facing.. Lord help us...

In Need

I am in need of God's wisdom, patience, and grace. As the girls are going through transitions, so am I. Some decisions they have to make, and I have to pray and wait along as they pray along their decisions.

Though I like to be fast and efficient, these are some things that I cannot rush and also not good to rush.

God, please give me patience and grace. Give me wisdom to also know how to guide them along..