Affirmed by God

Been reading Ajith Fernando's book. Its not that interesting or easy to read, but it has great value.

I have been taking some time to rest. This time to break away from work gives me time to think about work. Haha.. Its not an irony. Its a time for rest and reflection. I have been working hard. But I dont feel right. At times I question my motivation for doing so.

When I was full time in Navs, its easier to say that you are working for God. But right now, working with others in the office, and with a manager above me, I feel this need to perform. For the past few months perhaps, I have lost touch of how it feels to work for God and Him alone. When pressure comes, I lost sight of my dear Master to whom I should ultimately account to.

Coupled with this reason is also the need to prove my worth. I realise that I have been working so hard not because I so love my work. But its because I have tied my worth so closely to my job. I have focused my worth on the output of my job and my performance at work. No wonder I worked so hard. If my work crash, I would crash.

So so dangerous to anchor my worth on the outcome of my work. I feel so childish. And yet again, God is my Deliverer.

Peter said, "To whom shall I go? You have the word of eternal life." I am insane without God. I am praying for reliance on Him daily that I may follow Him closely and listen to Him intently.